Exhausted, but must blurt one last time before my unladylike yawp is stilled for the night:

Dudes!  (Straight dudes who actually like women, that is!)  Do you want to get with real, live girls?  This will work much better if you anticipate human traits from them.  If you don’t, you’d better be superhuman yourself.  NOT “I’m a perfect little gift-wrapped angel because my mama always said so, and Mama wouldn’t lie” — but someone worthy of this demigoddess you crave.

If you want high performance, expect high maintenance.   Drive a Jag, hire a mechanic.  You might be lucky enough to find a girl who is skilled at self-maintenance, and occasionally only needs a helping hand to hold the timing light.

If you want a goddess, prepare to make some sacrifices.  You might be lucky enough to find a goddess who doesn’t require a whole flock of black rams, or your firstborn.  (Keep in mind that dating a deity was your idea, not mine.)

If you just want your money for nothin’ and your chicks for free, I can’t help you, brudda.  You’re on your own.


(P.S.:  attention, Pretty Pretty Princesses:  same goes for you.)


Girls who correct the grammar in their swains’ pick-up lines will assuredly get less action than those who do not.  But it’s a slippery slope.